Have you ever been in a season where it felt like everything was going right, then in only a moment it seemed everything was going so very wrong?
You almost do a double take at your life, scratching your head in confusion about how things went south so quickly – even under your watchful eye.
I was there five years ago.
Enjoying an independent life, I quit my job to pursue something fresh, went travelling, went on a mission trip, and led the best group of young women I could ever imagine.
Life was good – no, great.
Then I got diagnosed with an illness they told me they couldn’t cure (not that “they” had the final say in my life).
Within months, every area of my life came to a screeching halt.
I couldn’t work, travel, socialize, exercise or serve. And I could no longer live alone.
It was a forced pause.
I felt broken in body and spirit and didn’t know how to put the pieces together. All I knew was that I served a God who specializes in broken things.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Psalms 34:18 NIV
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
Psalms 147:3 NIV
So in my brokenness, I turned to God’s Word. More than healing, I needed hope.
My mind was a battlefield as I’d learn new things about the disease that was inhabiting my body but I couldn’t let the enemy’s lies win.
“For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
2 Corinthians 10:3-5 NIV
I knew I had to feed my mind, soul and spirit with God’s truth. Even if it physically hurt to do so. So, with inflamed joints and pain, I’d gently peel open the pages of the Word and receive truth from my Heavenly Father.
The more I ate His Word, the more hunger I had for it. And for its Author.
God met my hunger and continued to fill me with revelation as I read His promises and stories of others who’d walked through the valley and had been restored by the Lord.
“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.”
Matthew 5:6 NIV
I read about how God provided manna for His people as they wandered through the wilderness after escaping Egyptian slavery.
I read about how God fought the Israelites’ battles as they took new ground under Joshua’s leadership.
I read about how Joseph’s brothers betrayed him. Yet God took him from a pit to a palace and used him to change the course of history for the Israelites.
And then I read about how Job went through intense suffering and anguish. He lost everything. His health. His wealth. His family. Yet through His suffering He found God.
“My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you.”
Job 42:5 NIV
And more than that, God restored double for Job’s trouble.
“After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before.”
Job 42:10 NIV
Did you catch the first part of the above scripture?
Job prayed for his friends. He interceded while in desperate need of intercession himself. He surrendered to God’s will and God met him there.
It was after Job prayed for his friends that the Lord restored all he had lost. And doubled it.
Now, if I’m honest, when I felt helpless and hopeless, all my prayers were about me. They were desperate cries for help. For God’s presence and healing.
But when I read Job’s story, I felt convicted – to surrender to God’s will. To allow Him to use me even in my brokenness.
That’s how I started He Speaks, I Write.
I followed a prompting from the Lord to share the revelations I received as I dug deep in a time of despair.
“Then the Lord replied: “Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it.”
Habakkuk 2:2 NIV
I felt to also share my healing journey with you even before I saw my prayers answered. To peel back the curtain on what it looks like for me to walk by faith and not by sight. And to encourage you as you walk with God through whatever you’re facing.
I’m fully convinced that it’s by sharing the testimony of God’s goodness and faithfulness – together with the victory we have by the blood of Jesus – that we overcome our enemy.
“They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.”
Revelation 12:11 NIV
To my surprise (and delight), I receive emails from readers about how what I’ve shared has strengthened their relationship with Jesus. It’s the most beautiful thing. God truly uses us in our brokenness – if we let Him.
I’m so grateful the Lord used me (and still does) even when I felt I had nothing to give.
And I believe He will do the same for you in your surrender.
Because God is good. All the time.
“You are good, and what you do is good; teach me your decrees.”
Psalms 119:68 NIV